The excitement, even the passion, are MIA. That's because when a woman experiences chronic tension, her body produces higher levels of oxytocin, a chemical that cancels out the effects of the sex hormone testosterone. You know it's good to escape — from work, the kids, the dust bunnies — and concentrate on each other. If you take too long and can only ejaculate via manual stimulation, do your best to get your partner to orgasm and then they can return you the favour. To reestablish the bond, do something that makes you feel good in your skin at least once a day — treat yourself to a massage, go apple picking with your kids, wear the jeans that give you an ego boost the minute you slide them on. Weight training and Pilates, which force you to focus on your muscles and your form, are especially good for this. The same is true in the bedroom — especially if you and your partner have been together for a while and sex has become automatic. How To Have Sex Things you should never do while having sex How To Have Sex Things you should never do while having sex When you're in bed with your lover, the last thing you want to do is turn them off. Be creative and you'll find yourself enjoying some variation too. Working out gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment, says Berman. Seeing him in a place that doesn't have anything to do with you will reveal a different side of him and reconnect you with the person you fell in love with. Biting before your partner's ready While many people enjoy an aggressive partner, biting any part of their body before they are aroused may lead to pain and discomfort and might even lessen the chances of any further action or simply scare them off. Get undressed, dim the lights and take turns exploring each other's bodies.