In fact, the need to be held when we feel sad is biologically programmed into our brains. After all, during sex men can unabashedly get held, stroked, kissed, hugged, and loved up all under the acceptable guise of a very manly act — that of sexual prowess. Symptoms go away when we become reacquainted with our core emotions. She has published articles in The New York Times and professional journals. Sexual excitement is a core emotion. Sexual excitement is often physically felt as sensations in the groin area with an impulse to seek orgasmic release. Dylan wants sex when he feels sad because he likes the comfort the physical holding provides. Mental health is improved by being in touch with the full range of our core emotions. Dylan, like most people, wants to be held when he is sad. We all have weak and strong parts. Here are some examples: She is a certified psychoanalyst and AEDP psychotherapist and supervisor. So it is not surprising that the tender emotions, which have to be expressed in some way, get bound to sexuality. Alternatively, he thinks it is acceptable to find and ask for sex, which satisfies his need for human connection. Emotions are not for the weak, they are for the human. Know that humans are complex creatures.