Initially, I get angry at all of these people for dirtying the image of what my partner and I are by association, but then I realize that this makes me just as judgmental as the people who judge us, or at the very least equally primed to jump to certain conclusions. The title of this post is, however, not just for click bait purposes. Then there are the positive judgments. Never mind that every girlfriend I had before that was white. Contrary to what you might expect, the more youthful observers are often the worst culprits. We are not the same. Sometimes, people still just appear to feel that whatever our relationship is about it is just wrong for a white and a black to be together. My partner and I at AfrikaBurn not long after we first met I sometimes wonder how many people are scared off the idea of cross racial dating or relationships by all of this nonsense — all the assumptions, stereotypes and judgments that they would have to deal with from other people. And you and I are not buddies. For both our sakes. None of this is helped by the amount of people who seem so happy to flawlessly play out the stereotypes. Though the intentions are undoubtedly in the right place in such instances, the inference is in some way the same: Then there are the fat, rich, old British men you see strolling around with beautiful black girls half their size and half their age. But how many people in South Africa, and elsewhere no doubt, are dramatically reducing the pool from which they might be able to draw someone they really love, just by their inability to consider being with someone who happens to have a different skin colour? Many friends tell my partner and I that we are so lucky to have each other and to love each other like we do. In their eyes, this is confirmed by the fact that I just so happen to have had two black girlfriends in a row.